The Last City Page 25

  I rose my hands to him to help me up, but instead he swung me up into his arms. I didn’t want to be carried. I wanted to feel the pain, every step of the way.

  “I can walk,” I whispered. And I tried to close off my thoughts as much as I could, but I couldn’t stop the notion that a few days without Jordan to care for me in every possible way, may do me some good.

  Lena grinned at me as I passed. I hoped she hadn’t picked up on that last thought, but I was fairly certain that she had. I knew her, and her expressions. And a Lena grin was never a good sign.

  ∞

  Every morning for the following week, Jordan ran with me to the fields, each day, trying to convince me that we only needed to see one solid green marker - the one that held the ward’s head. And by the end of the week I gave in, agreeing that it was enough to know that he was still there, not whole again, not going anywhere. After all, his head was the pivotal piece that made him who he was.

  We stayed at the site for mere moments, barely a pause in our routine, before jogging just as eagerly, back toward the Arena.

  Lena convinced Jordan to finally leave me alone with Dax in the dome. Haize was there to heal if needed. But it allowed Dax to focus on me. And it allowed Jordan to focus his efforts upon improving his own skill, his own endurance, for his own reasons. For me.

  However, even though Lena wasn’t in the room with us, I could tell she kept up her unspoken communication with Dax, for every now and then he would smirk for no reason. And although he tried - rather poorly - to conceal it from me, I knew it meant Lena had done some damage. But I refused to connect with Jordan. I couldn’t let his training distract me, and I knew he would be made right again, before I saw him, no matter what Lena put him through.

  I needed to focus on Dax. He was tougher than the ward, despite his Guardian-given enhancements. Dax’s force came from within, a determination to be everything Lena needed him to be. He hit harder than the ward, he was faster, stronger in every way. The only aspect Dax lacked was the ward’s unwavering capacity to focus his every fiber on me.

  As I lay face down, restrained once more by Dax’s force, I let the memory fill me, and with my eyes wide open I saw his face before me. The ward’s eyes never left me, not for a second. Whatever else may have been in his way, or in the room, losing sight of me was not even a consideration. It was as if there was nothing else he could see, there was only me.

  And as the memory faded into the pain Dax was delivering with the constriction of his muscles around me, I realized I’d found the wards weakness - me. The very thing that forged him onward, was also the thing that could bring him down. Now, if only there were two of me.

  “Dax,” I groaned.

  “What?” he huffed at me.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Exactly what you want me to do.”

  “I never told you to break me.”

  “Yes, you did. At least, not your bones, anyway,” he said, as he released me.

  “What are you talking about?” I tried not to moan through the words as my limbs found their rightful place once more.

  “The memories that go through your head. You don’t want them. You don’t need them. You need to be free of them.”

  Of course. While caught up in the memory, he was reading my every thought.

  “This one was important though,” I tried to protest.

  “If he returns,” he glared at me, his eyes bored into mine, his was mouth set. “You will not bait yourself.”

  “I wasn’t thinking that I would,” I protested. I was quite sure my thoughts had not gone in that direction.

  “You didn’t have to. But you were on your way,” he concluded, getting to his feet. “Up.”

  I took one last deep breathe before letting it out long and slow, and then jumped into position.

  I wasn’t improving by much, perhaps lasting a little longer before he restrained me each time, but with every forced capture I heard the same words repeated in my head, ‘It’s not about beating him, it’s about endurance’, until I finally realized the voice was not mine. It was Lena’s.

  “Enough,” I growled into the mat, and squirmed out from under him. “You two need to stay the hell out of my head.”

  As much as I appreciated their need to help, and to protect me, what I needed was to learn to rely upon myself, my own strength, my own thoughts. I closed myself off to everyone, as much as I’d taught myself to anyway, although I doubted it would stop Lena, or Haize, or Aleric, or damn near any of them. But at least, they would get the hint.

  Out of breath, I stalked toward the main entrance and left the dome. I didn’t want to see Haize. I didn’t want her to take away the ache, the pain my stretched and squeezed limbs felt, nor the bruises that I knew were ripening large portions of my skin. I wanted to feel it all for a change, like any normal person would back on Earth.

  I climbed the cliff, and at first began walking across the desert. I knew doing this alone was stupid; the wards could be patrolling outside the city, the militia could have found their way through Aleric’s fields, or the Guardian could be bringing the bloodthirsty Terahn’s to the outside of the city again. Worst case scenario of course, but still, it sent a shiver down my spine. And I paused, halfway across the sandy stretch to laugh at myself, realizing Dax was right. I really needed to stop doing that worst-case thing. For those were phantom thoughts, only meant to scare myself. Not entirely a bad thing, for it kept me on alert. But I should be on alert without the need for the self-administered scare-fest.

  I continued on, increasing my speed, and ran despite the pain in my legs. I was sure Dax’s boot print in my lower calf was making a solid appearance, with all the noise it made. Each step brought back the pained memory of his swift kick that had knocked me off my feet. But it began its clamor in unison with my arms, my shoulders, and my jaw, along with my left eye from where he’d punched me. And I was certain, that there would forever be, an impression of his forearm around my neck.

  I reached into a long pocket in the upper thigh of my pants, hoping I’d stored one of Lena’s vials, but no such luck. My limbs would get no reprieve, at least not yet anyway. My only consolation was the satisfaction I would get at the end of this self-indulgent campaign to wear myself out, and of seeing that solid, green light marring the softness of the grass around it.

  As I crossed the hills, I slowed my pace. Not by choice, but because the pain was taking its toll, and I knew I was in for a long walk back. Though as I neared the field, the marker which should have stood out, evaded me. I stopped to get my bearings. I was sure I was in the right place. But as I looked about, I couldn’t help but feel that I wasn’t alone. After scanning the open fields and seeing no-one, I continued onward, a little slower, not quite a jog, but still walking with purpose.

  When finally, I stopped, my heart pounded in my chest, and my breath rasped in and out until I caught it, and slowed its pace. I leaned forward resting my hands upon my knees, thankful that once more, the marker I’d found, was a solid green. He was still there, locked away. But I couldn’t shake the sense that I was being watched. It was most likely Dax. I was sure he’d run after me, needing to keep me safe… or risk Jordan picking him apart.

  Staring down at the green light, I calmed my thoughts, and wished I could hear the ward within. I wondered if he was conscious, if he was aware of my presence, if he could think, move, or scream. And I felt a certain satisfaction knowing I had control over his fate, over his life, instead of the other way around.

  You’re mine now, I thought to him, whether he could hear me or not.

  But I pulled my thoughts away from him, allowing myself only those few indulgent moments, and as I did the sense that I wasn’t alone grew stronger. Someone was definitely watching me, I was sure of it. I turned my head slightly to the right, scanning the area as much as my lowered peripheral vision would allow. I then straightened up, standing tall, stretching my arms upward, and turned le
ft, away from the marker, facing the way I’d come. And as I did I scanned all around me, not wanting whoever it was to know that I was aware of their presence.

  But whoever it was, they were keeping their distance. They were either overprotective, and cautiously guarding, or they were contemplating my presence, just as my ward had once done.

  Good or bad, either way, they left me alone. I was fine with that.

  23

  Home Again

  On my way back, I decided that this was my last run to the fields. It had to be. At least for now. The militia could attack anytime. The Terahn’s outnumbered the Heart. And if my watcher was not friendly, I couldn’t give them another opportunity to get to me. Going out alone was reckless.

  Once back in the dome, I made my way to the lower rooms, where Haize was patiently waiting.

  “Who was following me?” I asked her.

  Her head shot up. Her eyes glanced from one of mine to the other, searching no doubt, my thoughts, or perhaps the thoughts of others.

  “No one from here. Why, what did you see?”

  “Nothing. I could just sense someone there. They kept their distance.”

  “You can’t go back,” she commanded.

  As much as I didn’t like her tone, I readily agreed, explaining I’d already come to that decision. Why she didn’t read that tidbit in my thoughts, I neither knew nor, surprisingly enough, cared.

  “Who do you think it was?” I asked.

  “No way of knowing,” she exhaled her words. “Most likely wards. I doubt the militia have made their way this far south, but we can’t keep tabs on them all. Some of them, we can neither read nor sense, it’s as if they’re not even here.”

  She paused then, as though to contemplate her own sentence.

  And why she said as much to me I didn’t know. But I was grateful for every word she shared. The one thing I needed most from her was her trust in me, that I could handle whatever came.

  “I know you can handle it.”

  I clamped my lips together, wishing I was more careful with my thoughts. I needed to keep my guard up.

  “You do need to keep your guard up, but not from us,” she flashed me a quick grin, and then resumed healing my wounds. “The main reason why I don’t share everything with you is because I don’t want you to have to handle it.”

  “Why? Don’t you know how frustrating it is to always be excluded, always on the outside, always wondering where I stand and exactly what is happening. All of you have instant communication with each other, and with everything around you. How am I to ever feel like I am a part of this world, if I can’t even assimilate?”

  At the beginning of my rant, she’d planted her hands upon the table, to stare at her air-screen. Once I was done, she only looked down at me with exasperation, in much the same way my mother used to when I was child, for asking too many questions about things only grown-ups should know of and worry about.

  Haize knew better than to treat me this way. Or at least, she should by now.

  “Fine,” she agreed. “I’ll tell you what I know, when I know it, but only if it doesn’t matter if the rest of the world is able to pull it out of your head.”

  “Thank you,” I said. It wasn’t everything, but it was more than what I currently had. I smiled up at her, beginning to rise, but one look from her stopped me - she wasn’t quite done healing me.

  Several minutes later, I left Haize’s room and made my way up to the next level in the dome. However, upon stepping into the main room, I found Jordan pacing. He looked up at me, and halted his anxious momentum, but didn’t move toward me. For a moment, I wasn’t even sure if he knew me.

  “Jordan,” I whispered, taking one step toward him. But I stopped when he didn’t move. I let down my guard enough to let him in, to sense him, and found that I couldn’t even reach him. It was as though his soul was nowhere near.

  “Jordan, what’s wrong? Why can’t I sense you?”

  “Suit up and follow me home,” he whispered.

  But when I didn’t move, he turned and ran along the walkway to the other edge of the dome, urging me to follow. He then jumped through the dome wall.

  Unsure of what had just happened, I stared for several moments at the last place I’d seen him.

  “Jordan?” I whispered at the wall. I forced my gaze away and ran toward the cubicles in the long room, then changed into my warrior suit. Before the light had completely dimmed, I stepped out of the cubicle unwilling to wait a moment longer. I then ran back through the main room, and followed him through the wall.

  However, before I leapt off the edge, I stopped. I closed my eyes and clenched my fists, my hands had begun to shake. Fear of the unknown was working its way through me. But I refused to let it take hold. I took several deep breaths, and shook out my hands, deciding to focus only upon what I knew, and what I had to do. And not upon the worst-case possibilities.

  I then leapt off the ledge, and flew as fast as I could toward Grid’s house.

  Upon landing in their garden, Grid and Gia welcomed me as they normally did, but I could only look about me, wondering which way Jordan had gone.

  “Where is he?” I asked them.

  “He’s not here,” Grid responded. “I haven’t seen him since you both left this morning.”

  I looked to Gia, and she gently shrugged, shaking her head.

  “He said to follow him home,” I stopped then, wondering if he meant our house upon the hill, or the tree-house. He couldn’t mean our home in the city, I couldn’t follow him there. “I thought he meant here,” I finished.

  I turned in the direction of our house upon the hill and decided it was the closest place for me to start looking for him.

  “Go with her,” I heard Gia urge him.

  “I’ll be ok,” I murmured to them. “I just need to find him.”

  Before either of them could protest, I took off in the direction of our house. It was moments later when I saw him, waiting for me near the edge of our garden. I landed on the path to our house a short distance away, and the moment my feet touched the ground, he held up his hand to stop me from moving toward him.

  “Wait,” he said, and then asked. “You still can’t sense me?”

  I tried searching once more, but I could sense nothing of his mind, nor of his emotions.

  I shook my head in response, wanting to question further. I could feel one of my worst-case-scenarios building in my head, and it took every effort to squash the images before they formed into words.

  “Good, then hopefully, neither can they,” he responded.

  I wanted to ask who, the first in a line of questions that had begun to form, but I kept silent, hoping he would just tell me.

  He waved his hand, motioning for me to move forward, and as I approached our garden, I felt a brief tingling sensation pass through me.

  “Aleric has added a little more protection to this place. It surrounds the house, to the edge of the garden bed. Only you and I can enter the field, others will only feel the barrier stopping them, unless we choose to let them in. Our words here, are safe, but…”

  “Keep our guard up?”

  He nodded, then pulled me into his arms and cradled my head against his chest.

  “Mason and Aleric have been monitoring them. The militia. Every step, every movement, every thought they can pick up. They’ve been in communication with them as well, trying to stave off an attack,” he groaned in a long drawn out exhale. “It seems they’ve been monitoring me, my thoughts. There are a few among them that can sense me,” he paused and shook his head. “I haven’t been careful.”

  “But Mason said they couldn’t, didn’t he?”

  “That’s what he and Aleric initially found. But we saw what they wanted us to see.” He held one hand to my face, stroking from my temple to my ear, as he whispered. “They know about you. They’ve been watching you too.”

  “Well, that explains the presence this af
ternoon, but why…”

  “What presence?” he asked, then read my thoughts, drawing his brows together in frustration as he did. “Why would you go alone?” he began, but I stopped him, sharing the overwhelming need I’d felt, for some kind of control, and at the same time reassuring him that it wouldn’t happen again.

  “Why are they watching me?” I asked him, but as I did the faintest of memories began to stir. There was a reason, and I was sure I knew what that reason was, but it evaded me. “I could hardly be considered a threat.”

  “You‘re not a threat. But, Shaylen hasn’t yet figured out what to do with you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She can’t kill you, at least, not yet. And... I don’t yet know what her intentions are… toward me.” He stared down at the grass with an intensity that caused me to wonder if he was wishing he could bury his words under the ground, or at least, the thought from which they’d come. “I’m sorry,” he said, as he looked back up at me.

  “So, you think I’ve got a fight on my hands?” I asked trying to lighten the mood, or perhaps reassure him that there was no fight.

  “Yes,” he joked back. “You’re in competition with a deranged killer on a power trip.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at that thought. For it seemed we both were. But at least, his ‘competition’ was already buried, and soon to be forgotten.

  He pulled me down to sit beside him upon the bench. It was well past sunset and the cool, ocean breeze was chilly, even within the suit. I’d forgotten how much I loved the serenity of our garden, and I wished I hadn’t let my ward drive me away from my home.

  “I’m still missing too much. Up here,” he said, and pointed to his head. “Sometimes images will come to me in waves, and at other times, I’ll barely catch a glimpse. They think I still have some control over the city. If only they knew, I barely have control over my own head,” he chuckled, but the sound was forced, and I looked up into his face.