The Last City Page 10

  “Who are they?”

  “Most likely from Threa. Now that the wall is down, he was sure that… there would be those… wanting to explore their options.”

  “Is he alone? Should he be back by now? What if he’s hurt?” I couldn’t stop the questions, one after another, they just flowed from me as though they had a mind of their own.

  “He’s not alone. He’s not hurt, and he’ll be back when he’s ready.” It wasn’t so much her words, but the softness with which she spoke them that told me to let it go. And even though her answers were devoid of substance, she told me more than I needed. She missed him, and she was worried to the point where she didn’t want to, or couldn’t, talk about it.

  I looked up at her ready to ask if she was done healing me, but instead I found her once more, staring at Jordan. Her eyes were narrowed as though she was studying him. I turned my attention his way, trying to determine what she may have seen in him, but to me he only looked tired, and still somewhat confused. And I wondered if there was a whole lot more that she was able to ascertain.

  Unsure if I should be worried or not, I turned back to Lena, as she stretched her healed leg, and flexed the muscle, before slipping off the table.

  But she was studying her healer as she said, “Thanks, Haize,” in an offhand way, as though it was a practiced response.

  And as I looked at them, one then the other, I couldn’t help but feel that there was something going on. Not wanting to make a big deal out of it, or create a childish scene, I decided to deal with this quietly, alone with Jordan.

  “I think we’re done for the day, don’t you?” Lena asked, turning my way.

  “Same time tomorrow?” My question was for her, but my gaze landed upon Dax. His brief snarl told me he did not like me hurting his soulmate. But we were even on that score.

  ∞

  “I have a question for you?” I asked Jordan, as we made our slow way back to our Tira-Mi home. I didn’t want to ask it, particularly after the confusion I’d felt in him while we were with Haize. I wasn’t sure what was going through him, but I didn’t want to push him to tell me, I knew he would when he could. And my question may even be a much-needed distraction. I was sure he would only laugh. But after everything else I’d experienced since coming to this place, the very idea was not even that absurd.

  “What is it?” Tiredness resounded throughout his words, and my question began to feel as though it was more of an intrusion than a distraction.

  But I asked him anyway. “Can you and Haize read each other’s minds?”

  He laughed, but it was strained.

  I stopped and pulled him back, forcing him to look at me.

  “Can you?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. I had hoped his answer would be an immediate, and resounding no.

  His eyes only briefly left mine as the cords in his neck tensed then released. He turned back to me before responding, “No.”

  I wanted to argue, but he cut me off.

  “I can’t read her mind.”

  Only half an answer.

  “But she can read yours,” I finished for him.

  “Yes.”

  “How long have you known?”

  “I… almost from the moment I met her.”

  “And you didn’t tell me. Why?”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, and then sighed before continuing. “I wanted to and almost did on numerous occasions, but Haize insisted I say nothing. She thought you had enough to deal with and she figured this could wait. It wasn’t important enough to argue about, and so I let her keep this from you. I agreed not to say anything.”

  “You agreed with her?” I tried to keep my tone neutral, but the strain was apparent in both my voice and my heart.

  “You were pulled here from another dimension. That by itself is enough to drive a person mad, as you’ve witnessed. You died… twice,” he choked out the words. “And you have a ward with your name etched into his knife. Do you really need any more?”

  “You forgot to mention everything I’d gone through on Earth, and then believing my soulmate was dead.” I had to stop myself, I didn’t want the memories to begin. “I think I survived all of that remarkably well,” I finished, however that was overstating it. Just a little. But at least my sanity was still intact.

  And I really wasn’t sure why this was upsetting me. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Perhaps, because I hadn’t expected the conversation to go this way. In the back of my mind however, there whispered insidious notions, details underlying the information he’d just revealed that I hadn’t yet thought of. And I knew from the tension rising within me, that I could feel this turning into something close to betrayal, or perhaps it was more of a sense of unworthiness to ever be completely a part of their world. I felt yet again, on the outside of everyone. On Earth, it was my doing. But here, it was theirs.

  His warmth wound around me, his soul searched for mine to join him, but I kept it closely bound within me. I didn’t want to be touched that way. Not yet.

  “So,” I began. “You believe that Rebecca should be informed of everything, but not me? Am I that weak?”

  “No. And you shouldn’t compare what you have gone through with what Rebecca went through. Two completely different lives. Completely different circumstances. And besides, you are also keeping information from her.”

  “But this is us. You and me. We shouldn’t have secrets.”

  “I know. We shouldn’t,” he said, stroking my cheek. “But if I need to withhold something, even for a little while, simply to keep you safe, or sane, I will.”

  Several emotions ran through me at once. Anger, annoyance, frustration, disappointment, and I recognized them all. Years of therapy on Earth had taught me to recognize my emotions and seek out the source. In this case the source was obvious - me. I was turning this into a bigger deal than it had a right to be. And I breathed, attempting to release it all.

  But it was resignation that stayed with me, whether I wanted to feel that way or not. I understood where he was coming from, for I also, would do whatever I had to, to keep him safe.

  And he was right, I had done this very thing to Rebecca, withheld information from her, for her own good. Accepting his explanation though, didn’t suppress my need to argue about it. But not out of anger, more so out of that sense of disillusionment that I felt with my place in this world, and in his.

  “So, she can read your mind, but how do you know what she is thinking?”

  “Well, she reads my thoughts, and then she sends to me her thoughts in response, or whenever she just needs to say something.”

  “So basically, she’s having a conversation with herself in your head.”

  He laughed unexpectedly. “That’s one way of putting it,” he said, and I couldn’t help the smile that began to form on my face.

  But his laugher faded all too soon. He was too focused on me, and on my frame of mind. I needed to change that, somehow. I needed his laughter; that sound of him filling me. He was my remedy, always able to pull me out of any sinking mood I managed to get myself stuck into.

  And as the sound of him retreated from me, my questions renewed their need to be heard. The insidious whispering in the back of my head, had touched upon an idea that I didn’t want to confront, or give voice to. But once the fears had formed into words, they all but demanded validation.

  “If she can read your mind,” I began. “Invade your thoughts… she can read mine as well, can’t she?”

  He only nodded.

  “And you didn’t think I had a right to know?”

  “Of course, you did.”

  “And when were you planning to tell me? If I hadn’t asked, you wouldn’t have said anything.”

  As my words left me, I felt the call of his soul as he reached for mine in response. His warmth was all around me. Resisting him was almost torment.

  “Lydia, please,” he whispered, and placed his hands on either side of my face. �
�Don’t close yourself off to me.”

  I felt his soul pleading with me, and through that sense of him, there was more that dragged at my heart than my own sense of betrayal. He was in pain, and I was no doubt the cause. And once again, I felt certain that two people shouldn’t feel so much of one another. His heartache, became mine. It filled me. I couldn’t continue to push him away.

  I turned my face into his hands, acceding to his touch, and released my soul to join with his. He pulled me close to his chest, and as relief swept through us both, I inhaled all that was him.

  We made our way to our hilltop home, and after a light meal, we retreated to our garden bench to enjoy the tranquil afternoon light. Though when the first shades of sunset colored the sky, I returned to our conversation. A million questions had run through my mind, but at the same time, a million others had found their answers.

  “Can she read just us, or everyone?”

  “She can read everyone’s mind, if they let her.”

  His response only raised yet another question, but first I needed to follow my initial course, of which I was sure I knew the answers to, I just needed his confirmation.

  “Can Aleric?”

  “Yes.”

  “Lena?”

  “Yes.”

  “Mason?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, that explains a lot.”

  “All of the Rathe, all of the Heart, Mason and, so far as I know, a few others from Threa. But only when they need to.”

  “Or when it amuses them,” I couldn’t stop that comment from leaving me.

  The more I let this information sink in, a growing sense of humiliation began to take over. Every thought I’d ever had since coming to Threa, could have been heard by everyone, almost. And that need to scream out my frustration began to rise, the same way it had in those first few weeks, when I’d learned that everyone in the Colony had heard and felt everything that had gone through my head when I was back on Earth.

  But at the same time, I realized that they could all hear each other’s thoughts. And not a single person had reproached me for any wayward thought I may have had. I couldn’t help but wonder how many wayward thoughts they each had to live with, or if instead, they were accomplished at controlling everything that ran through their own minds.

  I concluded that it was a strange way to live, knowing that nothing was private, not even the space within one’s own head.

  But before I could comment or question further, another thought arose within me, pushing all others aside.

  “They… the insertion… the Guardian, did it extract that quality from them? Can the wards read minds now too?”

  “No,” he said. “They never could. But this was one of the reasons why the Guardian kept bringing them. There were some higher brain functions that it couldn’t replicate in its wards. And those from Heart and Rathe that were inserted, suppressed that ability. The Guardian, as far as we know, didn’t discover all they could do.”

  As his words sank in, I felt the muscles in my head unclench, and I closed my eyes for just a moment, grateful that a headache was not on its way. My thoughts however, wandered back to the events within the Colony, and landed upon Grid, Hammond and Rebecca. I knew none of them could read minds, I’m sure Grid at least, would have mentioned it at some point.

  “Why is it that you can’t?” I asked him.

  “I don’t know. I’ve never even wondered about it.”

  “What about Dax?”

  “I’m not sure. I don’t think he can, at least that I know of.”

  “And… regarding Haize, and no doubt the others,” I began slowly, and almost didn’t continue with my question. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know more. I came to this world, almost a year ago, and this new information about the people around me, would not have much of an impact upon my life, except for perhaps, my awareness of what they could do. “What did you mean when you said, if they let her… read their mind?” I asked anyway.

  “It’s a choice they make. To read, to listen, to be read. Castor and Aleric had developed a serum to dull those particular senses. But who knows, maybe if we live long enough we’ll develop their talents.”

  “Or maybe Castor has a serum for that.”

  His laughter cut through the stillness of the growing evening, filling the garden with a welcome happiness. It coursed through my soul, vibrated under my skin and reversed the unhappy mood I’d been settling into. I loved that I could make him laugh. I loved what the sound of his voice could do to me. And I loved the way his eyes lifted mine to his and held me to him, as his laughter settled within us both. It was in these moments that I felt the most connected to him, that I could hear his soul speak to mine. And in that moment, I didn’t care if he had a thousand secrets. I had all eternity to unravel them.

  10

  The Guardian’s Purpose

  It was difficult moving forward, knowing that everyone could hear every word inside my mind. And as Jordan and I approached the Arena, I tried to maintain my focus upon the training ahead. But a growing sense of humiliation, burned its slow way to my cheeks. Lena had heard every word. Every attempt to keep myself moving, my previous fighting mantra. She’d heard it all. And I vowed to never think those words again.

  Instead of defeating myself before training had even begun for the day, I attempted to form a new motivational phrase to keep me moving. It was a desperate attempt to distract myself, and all I could come up with was, Strong like Lydia. However, as the words ran through my mind, a flush of embarrassment heated my insides, and I stifled a laugh while I sent the words away, back to whatever absurd recess in my brain they’d come from. I had no idea why I would even consider putting those three words together. There was a time when poetry and prose had filled my life, and the ability to produce mantras, titles and phrases flowed freely through me. But I guessed, my writing skills were getting a little rusty. I still contributed to Grid’s and Hammond’s newspaper, our memorial of Earth, but with our memories stretching thin, Rebecca had taken over, deciding instead to devote several editions to Shakespeare, along with our much-needed thoughts about each poem or play. And her request required neither our consent, nor approval. Our efforts however, had made for some entertaining reading.

  The distraction worked, for all too soon, we were inside the dome. And as I stood before Lena, I struggled to maintain that control, needing to keep all wayward thoughts at bay.

  “It’s not working,” she said, and grinned at me.

  I gave up. She was reading me anyway.

  “Your head is too busy.”

  “Then stop listening,” I told her, annoyed that she would even mention it.

  “Then stop thinking and focus,” she responded, and brought up the simulation for my level.

  I tried to do as she asked, and thought only about the movements I needed to make, and the strength I needed to use each time the simulation wrestled me to the ground. And once in the fighting room below the stadium, I tried not to think about each move before I made it. Not that it would have mattered. I had a growing sense that Lena enjoyed any and all afflictions that came her way. She knew what I was going to do before I even moved. And yet she let me use her for practice.

  During these sessions though, it wasn’t easy to stay focused on the task at hand. It was a painful experience for us both. For her, because I frustrated and annoyed her to no end, with my inability to learn as quickly as she would like. And for me, because I always managed to cause as much damage or more to myself, in my efforts to appease her with the sound of her own breaking bones.

  And each time Lena assisted me to the medic room despite her own impairment, Dax’s growls in my direction, and his groans for the pain Lena had to have been in, never failed to reach me.

  On one afternoon, it must have become too much for him, for as we entered the room, I gasped to see Haize correcting Jordan’s body, broken in multiple places. Lena’s grip on me tightened, keeping me
in place, and it took all I had not to cry out, but Jordan forced a smile, letting me know he was ok.

  At first, I thought Dax had purposely maimed him in so terrible a way, as payback, but as we approached the nearest table, an ulterior motive charged toward me. He first moaned at Lena’s relatively minor condition, and then he rushed at me. His eyes were wild, uncontrolled. It was killing him to see Lena get hurt.

  However, there were other warriors also filing into the room, needing attention from wounds they’d received during their own training in the stadium. And as one passed, he quickly assessed the trouble and stretched out an arm, blocking Dax’s way.

  Dax however, didn’t see it and his body slammed into the thick warrior flesh. The warrior’s arm didn’t move, not even a fraction. It jutted out from his body like a steel bar, and once Dax was on the ground the warrior retracted his muscled weapon and continued on toward Gaias.

  Stroke of luck for me, which never happens. Ever. I didn’t like it. Something equally bad would have to happen to even out my universe. Of that, I was sure. I thanked the warrior though, and kept locked deep inside, my wish that Dax had reached me. Better to see the trouble coming.

  As Dax attempted to stand, still dazed from what had just occurred, Jordan leapt toward him. He picked Dax up by the throat and then slammed him down onto the nearest table.

  “Try that again outside of training and you will be permanently strapped to this table,” he asserted.

  “Jordan…” Lena called.

  “Lena, teach him some manners. This is your damn Arena!”

  All I could do was stare. Watching Jordan exert his strength sent a thrill through me. I had to convince Lena somehow, to let us loose in the stadium. Their fighting stadium. Where the warriors fought to near death. I needed to see him in action.

  “What’d I miss?” came Aleric’s voice from the doorway.

  “You’re back!” I began, but the haggard way he held himself stopped any questions I may have had about his disappearance.